TOBIN, Faye Lilian (Collins)

Born Faye Lilian Collins on the 16th of November 1941, the daughter of Jack Collins, a poetry-reciting blacksmith, and Lilian, the best of sponge-baking mothers.  Faye grew up in the shadows of Black Hill.  Her childhood was spent roaming the Yarrowee Creek with her eldest brother Jim, smoking bark rolled in paper, cutting wood, yabbying, Scottish dances, and card nights in country halls.  The kitchen at Rice Street was also the scene of dancing and card playing with Faye tucked up in bed right next to all the action, no doubt not sleeping a wink, or perhaps this explains Faye's ability to sleep anywhere at the drop of a hat.  As a passenger, any road trip would usually see Faye asleep by the end of the driveway.

Faye's educational years were spent at St. Alipius Primary School and Sacred Heart College, where Faye made life-long friends and received her leaving certificate.  Following her school years, Faye worked at Social Security in Ballarat, her only mode of transport, a pushbike, which must have been challenging during Ballarat winters.  

As a young woman attending a church social, Faye had her eye on a handsome young fellow by the name of Peter Tobin.  One particular night, said young fellow approached Faye asking if she had the next dance. Faye replied demurely 'No I don't.  His response was 'well I hope somebody asks you' and off he sauntered.  Faye married him anyway on the 28th September 1963 at St. Alipius Church.

Once married, Faye had to resign from her position at Social Security as they didn't employ married women.  Just as well, 10 months and 10 days later, the first of four children arrived, Maree, followed by Paula, Bernard, and Michael who complete the family.  It was one busy home when for a while Faye also cared for Peter's baby nephew.  No automatic washing machine, an outdoor 'thunderbox' emptied by the nightman, no car, just the bus service from the boondocks that is now Wendouree.

A financial disaster in 1971 meant Faye and Peter lost everything including their first home, a home mum loved, so they took up residence in Peter's childhood home at 12 Dawson Street South.  12 Dawson Street South had been the old Star Dairy.  Peter's father had been a funeral director in Maryborough but relocated to Ballarat to assist with the education of his children.  On his move to Ballarat Peter's father purchased the well know funeral business of Wellingtons.  Peter worked for a short time after leaving school and then joined the family business. The business progressed from Noel Tobin and Son to Tobin and Rawlings and later Peter Tobin Funerals.

Life as the wife of a funeral director had begun!  While not the life mum had envisaged for herself, she was the backstop that enabled Peter to participate in all his extracurricular activities, of which there were many.  Peter could not have done all of this without the support of Faye or at times, her grim resignation to the fact.  

Married life in the Tobin household was often stressful, usually chaotic but never dull.  The kids loved the fact that Dawson Street was a halfway house sometimes loud and heated but always entertaining but Faye rarely had a moment's peace which left her with the feeling the place was never really her own.

Faye did manage to find time for herself, however, playing badminton, and joining a book club and APEX.  Maree recalls as a teen on holidays, helping Faye with Meals on Wheels.  Later in life, she joined Friends of Hospice and the St John of God Ladies Auxiliary.  Faye endured an assortment of strangers being brought home for meals, collected by Peter, either at Sovereign Hill or by the roadside, thumbing a lift.  The old adage of the family holdback became folklore as a meal for six was stretched to accommodate a few extra mouths.  While the smile rarely faltered, Faye could be heard muttering under her breath, "I'm going to kill you Tobes !!" Faye showed her love for Peter through the things she did for him, it was nothing for her to be up cooking a steak for Peter at 9.30 at night if he had been working late, explaining that he was working hard looking after others and he deserved a freshly cooked meal to come home to.

Faye and Peter were lucky enough to enjoy several travel journeys taking them overseas to explore the wonders of the world.  Of all the places they visited together around the world Broome - Cable Beach and Heron Island were their favorites.

A major change came with the move to Doveton Street in 1984.  A long-held dream of Peter's, it terrified Faye.  Peter always had a passion for a lake and wanted to build a funeral home overlooking water.  Having lost her family home once already, they were about to do it again to fund the construction of Doveton Park.  Faye was understandably worried.  It was a huge gamble but as they say, the rest is history.

Faye worked beside Peter at Doveton Park for a number of years, first in the office, but as the business grew and employees increased, Faye moved to the realm of catering.  Working beside the late Bob Williams brought lots of laughter and relief from the admin side of things, but by the 1990s she had decided enough was enough.  The arrival of her first two grandchildren in 1992 was the perfect excuse to start winding down.  

Things took a dramatic turn for Faye and the family in 1999 when Peter was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor.  The next 15 months were unimaginable as the family watched Peter and Faye's husband of 37 years, slowly disappear.  Faye who claimed to be a terrible nurse provided to be not so bad after all.  The loss of her beloved Tobes in 2000 left an enormous hole and Faye missed him for the rest of her days.  A couple of years after Peter's passing, and with some trepidation Faye had met someone.  The family couldn't have been happier for her.  David, a gentle wonderful man brought laughter, love, and care to Faye for almost 10 years.  The years following Peter's death had seen Faye emerge from the shadows of being someone's daughter, wife, and mother.  Faye became very much her own person and it was wonderful to see.  So whilst the romance ended, the friendship remained.

After Peter's death, the family found some notes he had penned with regard to Faye.  "I feel I am the most fortunate of men in my choice of wife.  When we were forced to sell our home, it broke her heart but not once did she recriminate me, I shall never forget that."  It speaks volumes about the love they had for each other.

A diagnosis of Parkinson's' around 2012 changed the family's lives yet again.  As the disease progressed beautiful Faye, not unlike Peter, began to disappear bit by bit.  Crippling anxiety and increasing frailty made life all the more difficult and eventually 24/7 in-home care was arranged.  If it wasn't for the gentle care, compassion, and endless patience shown to a woman who was often stubborn and at times cranky and demanding by a wonderful group of women, the family would not have been able to have Faye stay in her home for as long as she did.  14 months later, a hip fracture and all the difficulties associated, proved too much for Faye's frail little body to overcome.  Faye died on the 19th of May 2021 at St John of God Hospital.

Faye is remembered by her children as a warm, funny, welcoming woman who sometimes felt she wasn't good at anything in particular.  What absolute rubbish !!  Faye excelled at the hardest jobs in the world, that of wife and mother, nana and great nana.

Faye is buried at the Ballarat New Cemetery with her beloved Peter who died on the 29th of March 2000 in Tanderra Lawn Grave 152B.

Thank you to Faye's daughter Maree Harrison for these beautiful words.